Mental Health

She shares that she had her own “aha moment” about this when her now-preteen daughter was two years old: “She repeated something negative that I had said about my body and I was pretty shaken by it.” Sole-Smith decided right then to make a conscious effort not to comment on how other people’s bodies look—that goes for both positive and negative remarks—and noticed how difficult it was. “It took a long time to stop, and I kept realizing, wow, I constantly want to comment on others’ bodies,” she says, adding that this type of judgment and shaming is so normalized in our culture we often don’t think twice about it.Telling someone they look great after they’ve lost weight might seem like a compliment (and even something you’re expected to say), but it just reinforces the false idea that thinner bodies are better than fatter ones. Likewise, gossiping among friends about a celebrity’s apparent weight gain can feel like harmless chit-chat about someone you’ll never meet, but it can make everyone in the conversation feel more self-conscious about their own bodies and critical of others’.Of course, pointing out anti-fat bias requires talking about bodies—but the intent in that case is to highlight that everyone, regardless of their size, deserves the same love, respect, and human rights.4. Celebrate body diversity in your home.As important as it is to model body neutrality yourself and have conversations about self-acceptance with the teens in your life, Sole-Smith says it’s equally crucial to showcase and celebrate diversity in your home.For example: “Choose art that shows bodies of all different sizes. Read books and watch films that center fat protagonists,” Sole-Smith recommends. By choosing Hairspray for family movie night, say, and watching TV shows that showcase (or at least make an effort to showcase) body diversity among main characters, such as Shrill or Derry Girls, you’re showing your teenagers—without having to lecture them—that it’s possible to do the things you want no matter what you look like.5. Help them find role models with different-sized bodies.Although social media is a minefield of terrible diet advice and impossible body standards, there are some ways to use it for good. Sole-Smith recommends helping teenagers find role models with a diverse range of body sizes that they can look up to. “If your kid’s into rock climbing, send them a rock climber in a larger body to follow. If your niece or nephew is into dance, suggest some awesome fat dancers for their feed,” she says, like Dexter Mayfield and Lizzy Howell.Rock climbing and dance are two of many activities that have a culture of thinness and narrow body standards, which can harm teens whether you realize it or not. It’s crucial to actively push against those harmful expectations in order to protect kids and change the harmful but common narrative that fat people can’t be happy and successful in these areas—and others—she says.6. Talk about food in a neutral way, and keep a variety of options in the house.Sole-Smith recommends keeping your language as neutral as possible at meal and snack times. “Don’t call certain foods ‘bad,’ don’t shame processed foods, and don’t tell your kid to limit certain foods,” she says. “Make sure they know that all foods are okay to eat as long as there’s not a medical reason to avoid them [like an allergy].” This might seem like a huge mindset shift depending on your own relationship with food and the messages you’re used to hearing, but even if health and nutrition are two things you care deeply about, talking about these things in a neutral way will help your teenager learn how different foods make them feel, without the side of guilt or shame that they might have if you discourage them from eating things like pizza and ice cream.

No one is immune to a bad mental health day. Not even Only Murders in the Building star Selena Gomez, who recently shared one of the self-care strategies she relies on to care for her health when overwhelming bipolar disorder symptoms strike.During a candid conversation at the Music and Health Summit in Los Angeles on Tuesday, Gomez talked about what it’s like to struggle with her mental health in the public eye. One notable revelation: The bedroom—which many people consider a safe space to get some R&R—brings the “Single Soon” singer back to some of her toughest days.“The bedroom is a real trigger for me [from] when I was going through psychosis,” Gomez said. “Going through that whole period of my life, it was my bed that I was stuck to.” Being able to recognize the circumstances that lead to a manic or depressive episode can be a lifeline for people with bipolar disorder, since those triggers are often harder to identify than the symptoms themselves, psychiatrist Ludmilla De Faria, MD, recently told SELF.This isn’t the Rare Beauty founder’s first time opening up about this dark time in her life. Her highs and lows would last “weeks or months at a time,” Gomez told Rolling Stone in 2022. “It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. Then, it was me not being able to move from my bed,” she recalled. “Sometimes, it was weeks I’d be in bed, to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath.”Though Gomez has said that going to therapy—as well as treatment centers at her lowest points—has certainly improved her mental health, being aware of the things that set off her mood swings also helps her cope on her own. Leaving her bedroom and surrounding herself with others, for example, is one way in which she now takes care of herself. “Even just with one person, and they could be washing the dishes or doing nothing and just being in their presence would really help me,” she told the Music and Health Summit crowd.Although Gomez was officially diagnosed five years ago, the actor admitted at the event that coping with her condition is still an ebb and flow process. “You can be in a room full of people and still feel terribly alone, and I know that feeling isn’t the best, but working through that…has been helping me,” she said.However, understanding her triggers and symptoms and learning how to respond to them has been an important step toward embracing bipolar disorder. In Gomez’s own words: “I just have to understand and make it my friend. I’m always going to have what I’m diagnosed with, so it’s just about living with it freely.”Related:

Knight also points out that getting help as soon as possible can prevent you from developing a diagnosable condition down the road. “The earlier you start the conversation with a professional about your disordered eating habits or distorted body image, the more likely you are to prevent these things from becoming more severe,” she says. Seeking treatment early on is also associated with a better chance of lasting recovery, she adds.Working with people trained in eating disorders, whether you have a diagnosis or not, also minimizes the chances that they’ll make your behaviors worse, says Dr. Rugless, who’s the chief clinical officer for Project Heal. Unfortunately, eating disorders aren’t a big part of medical, mental health, or nutrition curriculums, so a provider who hasn’t received additional training could actually cause harm without realizing it by encouraging restrictive eating, for example, or weight loss.Treatment can take a lot of different forms, from weekly meetings with a therapist and a dietitian to 24/7 care from a team of specialists at a residential facility or hospital. In general, people who are medically stable do well in outpatient treatment, as long as they are able to feed themselves in a healthy way, without supervision or support.4. Consider joining a support group that connects you to people with similar identities and challenges.“There are so many misconceptions around eating disorders being a thin, young, cisgender, white woman’s illness,” Knight says. But that’s absolutely not the case. “These behaviors are so prevalent and so underdiagnosed in people outside that narrow stereotype.”This means that people with marginalized identities could be less likely to recognize disordered eating in themselves and less likely to be diagnosed. It also means that most of the research that informs diagnostic criteria and treatment protocols is built around the stereotypical patient, which can make it tough for people who don’t fit the mold to get support that works for them. Finding providers who share certain key identities with you—like race, body size, sexuality, or gender—can also be a struggle, in part because the eating disorder field is overwhelmingly white and female.You can try searching the directories listed above for specialists you can relate to—IAEDP’s lets you filter specialists by their ethnicity, for example, if they’ve disclosed it—or you can ask around in your social circle for recommendations. There are also more niche databases that don’t cater specifically to eating disorders but that could be helpful depending on the type of provider you’re looking for, such as Inclusive Therapists, Therapy for Black Girls, and the National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network.Still, the reality is that you might not be able to find someone who has the same lived experience as you, especially if the population in your area isn’t very diverse. This is where virtual support can come in. Project Heal, for example, offers a list of more than 50 virtual eating disorder support groups that cater to specific identities. NAED also has an updated list of online and in-person groups across the country.5. Remember that as an adult, you get the final say on what recovery from disordered eating means to you.The conversation around eating disorders and recovery tends to assume that the person struggling is very thin due to their eating disorder, and that gaining weight through recovery will make their life better, even if they can’t yet recognize it.

Thanks to social media, “men’s bodies are on display more than ever, and these pictures may be heavily filtered, photoshopped, or the best one out of hundreds of different shots and angles that didn’t make the cut,” Dr. Nagata says. In other words: If you’re constantly comparing yourself to muscular models, influencers, or celebs, it’s no wonder you feel like shit. And in the case of your IRL connections, you shouldn’t feel like you’re being judged or objectified by your own pals or dating partners.So don’t be afraid to set boundaries (by changing the subject or flat-out telling someone you’re not cool with negative body talk), or to unfollow or mute anyone who leaves you feeling self-conscious, ashamed, or guilty, Dr. Nagata advises. The people you choose to surround yourself with should make you feel inspired and accepted, not like you’re in a never-ending competition and falling short.Be honest with yourself about how your exercise and/or food routine really makes you feel.Exercise has numerous health benefits and isn’t in and of itself an indicator of a problem of course. However, an obsession with working out—to the point where you feel anxious or guilty when you take one rest day or use a trip to the gym as “punishment” whenever you eat certain foods—can signal that your regimen is actually hurting, not helping, your well-being, according to Dr. Nagata.“You should be engaging in workouts that are fun or stress-relieving, but with eating disorders or muscle dysmorphia, exercise can be taken to the extreme and cause worry or preoccupation instead,” he says. The same goes for your diet: There’s nothing wrong with trying to incorporate a variety of nutritious foods in your meals, but if the way you eat is leaving you feeling drained or constantly hungry, health clearly isn’t the motivation.That’s why Dr. Nagata suggests a more realistic routine that you can sustain in the long run—rather than “quick fixes” or extreme programs that zap your energy and make you miserable. That may look like learning to follow your body’s cues when it comes to hunger and fullness, or taking more days off when you’re feeling sore or just need a break. It can also be helpful to engage in a mix of different activities (like hiking, yoga, or swimming)—instead of sticking solely to strenuous strength training. Because underfeeding or overworking your body (and hitting the gym for the wrong reasons) kind of defeats the purpose of your “healthy” habits.If you can’t get things under control on your own, call in the experts.Asking for help and admitting that you’re struggling is easier said than done—especially for men, who have historically been taught that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Bottling everything up, however, won’t do you any favors because self-critical thoughts and behaviors thrive in the shadows, Dr. Nagata says.“Speaking with a healthcare professional or therapist who specializes in body image issues can be incredibly beneficial, as difficult as it can seem,” Dr. Nagata says, adding that these experts are trained to be empathetic and offer personalized treatment plans to fit your individual situation. “Plus, they’re bound by confidentiality and will keep any information you share private.”

All licensed therapists have undergone extensive training to become the mental health pros they are today, but that doesn’t mean they can do no wrong. They’re fallible human beings like you and me, for one thing, and just because someone has the right credentials or an impressive educational background, that doesn’t necessarily indicate that they’re right for you. The counselor your bestie raves about may not be as insightful when it comes to your issues, for instance, and even the most qualified-on-paper psychologist can make you feel unheard or unsafe.What’s more important than the letters after a therapist’s name is whether or not they’re a good fit, Lauren Cook, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World, tells SELF. “There needs to be a sense of trust and openness, and the relationship between a therapist and their client is actually one of the most important aspects of effective treatment,” Dr. Cook says.Of course, the ideal version of that relationship varies from person to person. Some of us simply want someone to lend a willing ear and offer up expert guidance as we vent our daily troubles. Others are looking for a provider who can help them process and heal from trauma, and make them feel safe enough to do so.Regardless of your personal preferences and goals, though, there are some things you definitely don’t want in a therapist—universal red flags that any good mental health professional should never wave. The obvious ones include making sexual advances toward you or any form of abuse, but to the untrained eye, it’s not always easy to determine when an expert with a fancy degree is behaving badly.That’s why we asked two pros to share some of the biggest no-nos to look out for—so you can recognize a therapist red flag when you see one.They seem judgemental about your identity or issues.This one probably seems like a duh. I mean, who would feel comfortable letting their emotional guard down with someone who minimizes their struggles, say, or is just a straight-up bigot? Signs of dismissive and discriminatory behavior aren’t always blatant, though.It’s one (very not-okay) thing if your therapist uses derogatory language when you’re discussing your sexuality, say, or gender identity. But even less flagrant displays, like a subtle jab at your hygiene when you’ve told them you’re going through a rough time and are too unmotivated to do anything, or microaggressions, like reducing your experiences with racism or xenophobia to “no big deal,” can make you feel invalidated. Plus, it only becomes harder to open up when a person you’re supposed to trust seems to be constantly judging you, Adia Gooden, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast, tells SELF“You should feel as if you’re being heard and accepted for your identity, your background, your hardships—whatever they may be,” Dr. Gooden says. “So if you’re hesitating to be your authentic self or feel as though you have to perform or downplay what you’re dealing with, that can indicate you’re feeling judged, or like somebody is trying to change you instead of help you.” If that’s the case, your mental health is better off in another therapist’s hands.They text or call you about personal stuff after hours.It’s great—essential even—to feel comfortable and close with your therapist, but that doesn’t mean they should be your BFF. For starters, you really shouldn’t be texting about your (or their) personal life, or making plans together after hours, as fun as that sounds.

Photo: Instagram/@shaleenanathani
As an actor, Deepika Padukone has achieved remarkable success, with national and international awards to her name. And as the daughter of a professional badminton player, athleticism runs in her blood. It shone through when she played the sport competitively growing up, and it remains perceptible to this day in her endeavors. Further proof comes via her recently announced partnership with Adidas. Teaming up with the sportswear giant as its brand ambassador, the Indian star and mental health advocate aims to further her and the label’s common goal of encouraging women to believe that “impossible is nothing.”
After keeping the collaboration under wraps for weeks before its surprise reveal, there was only one thing left to do for Padukone: Take it all in at the brand’s first flagship store in the Middle East, in Dubai. For the star, the emirate is a “home away from home.” The Chhapaak actor arrived at The Dubai Mall, commanding attention and nailing athleisure in a bright red and pink tracksuit, with the sleeves rolled up and a jacket casually tied around her waist. While to most, the obvious footwear choice for a tracksuit worn for an early morning appearance at the world’s largest mall would be sneakers, Padukone opted for a pair of high heels, with one red and one pink on each foot.
Vogue Arabia sat down with the star to discuss everything from the partnership, and sports as a part of her life, to how the conversation on mental health needs to change, and her advice to aspiring sportswomen.
Photo: Courtesy of Adidas
Vogue Arabia: How has playing sports shaped you as a person and as an actor?
Deepika Padukone: It’s played a huge role in the person I am today—the way I conduct my life, and the way I think. It’s taught me how to handle success and failure, how to be competitive in the right spirit. It has also prepared me for life, and I feel like no other experience in life would have trained me or taught me the values that sports have taught me.
What are some of the best life lessons you learned playing sports?
It teaches you so much, and I think I was fortunate to have participated in individual sports as well as team sports. It’s taught me everything from team spirit, handling success and failure, and how not to be impulsive, to the ability to analyze if you performed well: To take a step back, and analyze what you did right or what hasn’t gone well, and reflect, “What could I have done differently?” The list is endless: it’s patience, perseverance, dedication, and determination. I always say that I think only an athlete knows what the life of an athlete is like, and the values that it teaches you. I can say it in words but I think that feeling for me comes from my gut and there’s only that much I can put in words.
What brought about this partnership with Adidas?
When they reached out, I was more than happy to come on board because we all know Adidas is an iconic brand. Also for me, it seems like a natural extension of my personality because I’ve been an athlete. I conduct my everyday life like an athlete, and I think like one, so for me to associate with a brand that has similar values was a natural fit. I’m glad they think that I’m someone who embodies everything that they believe in and everything that they stand for and in the last couple of weeks ever since we’ve announced this association, keeping it under wraps was very very hard. But ever since we made this announcement, I think people are quite excited.
Photo: Courtesy of Adidas
How do you think the conversation on mental health has changed since you opened up about yours?
I think it has changed a lot. Honestly, I give credit to the people for being so open in terms of embracing it, accepting it, empathizing with my journey, and wanting to bring about change when it comes to mental health. Especially in India, where nobody spoke about mental health until I did, unfortunately. In the last five years, we have seen the country celebrating World Mental Health Day, and everyone talking about mental health in living rooms, and in the media you see celebrities being more open about their own experience. This is why I think we have come a long long way.
What more needs to change?
I think we still have a long way to go. Especially if we compare ourselves to Australia, for example, or to the UK and US where I think the conversation today is far more developed. But I certainly see ourselves geared up and headed in that direction as far as the openness to seek help goes, and I think the stigma has also reduced quite a bit.
What advice would you give to aspiring sportswomen?
Well, I think if you’re a sportswoman, I’d say you have already chosen the right profession. You are on a journey where you are going to learn some of your best life lessons, and patience. I think patience is also one of the things that sports have taught me. I realize this when I see today’s generation, compounded with social media, where you want instant gratification and everything has to happen now. I think sport teaches you to wait for good things, and that you have to work hard for them. Especially if you want to leave behind a legacy, and achieve something that’s permanent. Otherwise, I think one day will be up the next day would be down. I think if you really want to go up the ladder the right way, hard work and perseverance combined with patience is the key.

What stands out to you about women in the region?
I think their spirit and sense of joy. That is something I’ve been able to see even while just walking around. I think there’s a certain spirit in everyone. I’m unable to articulate what that is but it definitely embodies strength and determination.
Who is your ultimate fitness inspiration?
I can’t think of one person, but I admire people who are more disciplined and I think that comes at any age. I know people who are 13 years old and who are 75 years old that are extremely disciplined. When I say discipline, I don’t mean to say that you don’t enjoy your life. I think there are some people who take it to an all-new extreme, and I’m sure it works for them. But I think a subtle amount of discipline is what encompasses fitness. Whether it is being disciplined in your nutrition, sleep, exercise, or your mental health, I think, for me, that is fitness. I see a lot of people in the gym who have amazing bodies, and spend extra hours in the gym. I think all of that is great, but are you truly fit? I think only an athlete understands the value of true fitness. It is not just one aspect, it’s a lifestyle, and think I admire people who live by the same.
Now that you are able to travel once again, what are the fitness essentials you always have in your suitcase?
I think, to begin with, considering I come from the land of yoga, the biggest advantage is that you don’t have to carry anything with you when you can do it absolutely anywhere. I can be in my hotel room and do a couple of asanas or a workout. Currently, the phase that I am going through is, of course, a beautiful yoga phase. I also think a pair of great running or walking shoes are essential when you are traveling. That’s the easiest thing to do—you just throw in a pair of shoes, and also now with this whole athleisure trend, it’s multipurpose. I can wake up in the morning, and go for a walk or for a run, and I can wear the same pair of shoes and walk around in the mall, and in the same pair of shoes go to a restaurant. That’s what makes it functional but at the same time fashionable, and also practical when you’re traveling.
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