Love

The Tops Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist, According to Therapists

The Tops Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist, According to Therapists

“Most of their stories end with them accidentally saving the day or doing something amazing, and they’re frequently expressing something that’s almost unbelievable about themselves,” Dr. Weisner says, adding that those with NPD are typically attracted to high-powered jobs and people, and often have lofty goals (think vying for CEO or influencer status).Self-centered folks are known to brag about their accomplishments, too, of course, but for narcissistic people, the underlying motivation is “a need to keep their image intact in front of others,” she adds. “It’s about being seen a certain way by the world.” In other words, it’s not that they truly believe they’re superior (as a selfish jerk might); it’s that they need you—and everyone else on the planet—to think they are.“The theoretical understanding over time has been that most narcissists developed that way because they either had a parent who over-praised them and made them feel as if they were the sun and the moon—or, they had a parent who undervalued them and narcissism became their coping skill,” Dr. Weisner explains.A selfish jerk is more likely to bore the hell out of you.Again, like a narcissist, a selfish jerk might be prone to braggy comments, rattling on about where they went to school, why they’re on a macrobiotic diet, and how heavy they lifted at the gym. But it’ll probably get monotonous quickly, Dr. Hirsch says. Narcissism, on the other hand, can be thrilling.“When a narcissist is shining their light on you, it can make you feel like a rock star. They’re often a little too complimentary, at first,” Dr. Weisner says. “They can even seem like the perfect partner, parent, or friend—the only thing is, there’s a subconscious manipulative quality to it.” The positive attention they’re giving you isn’t really about you at all; it’s about making a good impression so that you’ll stick around and supply them with their lifeblood: Praise and admiration.A real-life example: A run-of-the-mill jerk might not show up to your birthday party because they’re angry at you and don’t really care if others think they’re mean for ditching you. But a person with NPD would likely show up, give you the biggest gift, and come off as a wonderful partner to everyone in attendance—and then privately say hurtful things when nobody’s looking.Many narcissists have an ingrained need to put other people down in order to feel better about themselves, “and that’s the part that gets revealed more slowly,” explains Dr. Weisner. Eventually, you might start feeling like you’re walking on eggshells—a sign you might be dealing with narcissistic traits or NPD. “Ultimately, these are people that you either feel fantastic around, or a little frightened.” This brings us to our next point:A narcissist takes your lack of worship as an attack, and they’ll respond in kind.Attempting to match a selfish jerk’s patterns (you stop texting them back, say) or failing to adequately agree with how talented they are may mildly irritate them—or, they might not even notice. They’re out for themselves, and what you’re doing doesn’t typically have an enormous effect on that, says Dr. Hirsch. But for a narcissist, these are major triggers that can motivate aggressive and abusive behavior.

Kelly Clarkson Says Her Divorce Felt ‘Freeing’ Despite Being ‘Incredibly Sad’

Kelly Clarkson Says Her Divorce Felt ‘Freeing’ Despite Being ‘Incredibly Sad’

As a self-described “fixer” and someone who thinks “everything is salvageable,” Kelly Clarkson’s decision to leave her marriage was extremely difficult—but it was also ultimately freeing, she told Zane Lowe in a recent Apple Music interview.The singer’s latest album, Chemistry (out June 23), follows the rollercoaster of her separation from music manager Brandon Blackstock. And the track “Lighthouse,” she told Lowe, recounts the moment the blinders lifted and she was forced to confront the couple’s fate—a feeling she said was bittersweet.”The lighthouse is what we never got to,” she explained. “We just couldn’t get there… we [were] never gonna get there. We were in the dark, lost at sea, treading water, couldn’t find each other, no matter how hard you swam.”While writing the song, she realized that there was “no amount of hope” that she could “fix” the relationship. “It actually is freeing,” she continued. “It’s incredibly sad, and it’s a dark place—fetal position on the floor crying—and there’s so much loss with that, and I never experienced grief like that.”Three years after she filed for divorce in 2020, Clarkson is grateful that she ultimately realized: “We’ve got to let each other go. This is not working. This is not going to pan out, and it’s not working for either of us,” she said. “And then we have two little kids watching us. And you don’t want to set that example.”In an interview with Hoda Kotb and Carson Daly on Today, Clarkson said she debated whether or not to release Chemistry, a title inspired by the concept of romantic intoxication, which can sometimes be a double-edged sword. “Chemistry—it can be an insanely amazing thing or it can be an insanely unhealthy thing,” she said.She added that she doesn’t really think about Blackstock listening to the ultra-personal record. But they did have “a little text exchange“ about its release, she said. “I don’t even remember why or how it happened, but I was like, ‘Hey, I didn’t just diminish us down to one [thing],’” she recalled. “It’s all in there, the ride. The beauty is in there as well. Now, there’s a lot of pain, but that’s what happens, for all of us.”As for the future of The Voice judge’s love life, she’s not actively searching for a new match—but she is looking forward to moving The Kelly Clarkson Show from Los Angeles to New York City to be closer to family.“I’m not in a bitter place. I love love,” she told Kotb and Daly. “I’m not closed off, but I’m just not looking at all either.”Related:

4 Signs of Toxic Jealousy in Relationships, According to Experts

4 Signs of Toxic Jealousy in Relationships, According to Experts

Even people in the most secure relationships may have to navigate waves of jealousy. It’s totally normal if your stomach sinks after seeing your partner bond with their attractive coworker, and we’d venture a guess that almost all couples have had some variation of the, “Seriously, they’re just a friend” debate. The green-eyed monster may even seem kind of endearing at times. (Isn’t it so sweet that they care that much about you?) Jealousy isn’t a relationship red flag in and of itself, Vernessa Roberts, PsyD, LMFT, a therapist who works with couples in Sacramento, California, tells SELF. At its core, this uneasy feeling usually stems from anxiety, suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity—all of which can naturally arise when you’re afraid of losing someone important to you, according to Dr. Roberts. “Although most of us don’t like this emotion, jealousy can actually be a healthy indicator that maybe we don’t feel secure and need some reassurance from our partner,” she says. But when self-doubt spirals into volatile and irrational accusations or controlling, guilt-tripping behaviors, that’s when jealousy is a sign of something more serious.“The biggest difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy is how we manage it,” Dr. Roberts says. The former is natural, normal, and most importantly, temporary; the latter is “toxic, explosive, and uncompromising, usually indicating a desire to control the other person,” she explains. The line between the two can be fine, so we asked therapists to share the most common warning signs that jealousy has gone too far. Here are the biggies you shouldn’t ignore:They monitor your every move.It’s one thing if your partner is curious about who you’re calling so late at night, or what bar you’re hitting with your pals without them. But if you feel like you have to report your whereabouts at all times, say, or your lover demands to see your texts under the justification that “there shouldn’t be anything to hide,” that’s a telltale sign that their jealousy is crossing into toxic territory, Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, a therapist at Therapeutic Alliance of New York Counseling who specializes in couples counseling and divorce guidance, tells SELF.“Constantly keeping tabs on your every move, like regularly snooping on your phone, is an unsustainable fix,” Hartstein says. “They may feel better knowing you’re not flirting with someone today, but they’ll inevitably keep surveilling you to make sure you’re not doing something tomorrow, which is an invasion of your privacy.” Even if you’ve lied to your partner about your past relationships, say, or fibbed about your spending habits, that still doesn’t give them the right to watch you like a hawk. Not only is it super annoying and a strain on the relationship, but taking your freedom away and destroying your sense of privacy can signal emotional abuse, according to Harstein.At the end of the day, you should feel relaxed and safe when you’re in a healthy relationship, she says—not like you’re being smothered by an overbearing parent or losing your sense of autonomy. Their jealousy results in angry outbursts. Everyone has moments when their anger gets the best of them and they react in ways they’re not too proud of. However, if you’re frequently tiptoeing around your partner, telling white lies, or staying guarded out of fear that one wrong move will instigate a screaming match, take a step back and ask yourself why you’re being so cautious, Dr. Roberts recommends. 

33 Sex Toys On Sale Ahead of Valentine’s Day 2023: Lovehoney, Lelo, MysteryVibe, We-Vibe

33 Sex Toys On Sale Ahead of Valentine’s Day 2023: Lovehoney, Lelo, MysteryVibe, We-Vibe

The year is starting off right with many popular sex toy brands having sex toys on sale to get you through the cold weather season and beyond. You might be wondering: what’s the occasion? Besides the fact that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, the answer is simple: you never need a reason to celebrate yourself, and what better way to do so than with a product that creates pleasure? Whether you’re looking for some discreet fun on the go or a replacement for your favorite wand massager, there’s a little something for every person and situation.Pleasure is one topic that’s largely seen as a reward, but the truth is we all deserve to be treated with appreciation, affection, and luxe sex toys that are sure to inspire some steamy self-love sessions. Whether you’re a beginner when it comes to vibrators or you’re adding another best-selling sex toy for partner play to your collection, you’ll find all sorts of great deals on splurge-worthy sex toys.Below, we’ve rounded up the best sex toys on sale. These sex toy deals include expert-approved vibrators (including remote-controlled vibrators and G-spot vibrators) to various other clitoral stimulators, prostate massagers, and waterproof sex toys. You’ll find toys from big-name brands and retailers such as Lelo, Lovehoney, Babeland, We-Vibe, Womanizer, Adam & Eve, and more. A word to the wise: Shop these deals ASAP, don’t let these discounts pass you by.For award-winning sex toys that double as naughty bedroom décor, look no further than Lelo. The best-selling pleasure brand is offering up to 40% off its range of aesthetically pleasing sex toys for its Orgasmic Sale. The sale celebrates the brand’s 20th anniversary with savings of up to 30% off. Standout toys in this sale include the Sila clitoral stimulator, which features an extra-large suction cup for all-encompassing sensations.LeloLelo Sila (Pink)Lelo EnigmaLelo Tiani 3Mega sex-toy retailer Lovehoney has so many items that are included in their sale section right now. The vibrating love egg is just one of the many products sure to light your fire. LovehoneyLovehoney Mantric Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate VibratorLovehoneyLovehoney Jessica Rabbit 10 Function Silver Rabbit VibratorLovehoneyLovehoney Dream Wand Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand VibratorLovehoneyHappy Rabbit G-Spot Rechargeable Rabbit VibratorLovehoneyLovehoney Up All Night Couple’s Sex Toy Kit (6-Piece)MysteryVibe’s innovative toys are the high-tech upgrade your nightstand needs. Right now, you can save up to 25% off during its January sale. Grab top picks from the brand’s most iconic products, including the curvaceous Poco and award-winning, targeted G-spot Crescendo vibrators. Save up to 50% on colorful, high-quality toys from We-Vibe like the smooth, silicone Tango bullet vibrator, the Rave G-spot vibrator, and its remote-controlled, rechargeable couples’ vibe, the Sync. We-VibeWe-Vibe The ForePlay CollectionDiscounts range from 20% off sitewide during PinkCherry’s spring sale to a whopping 80% off sale items when you use promo code LOVE at checkout. Pink Pussycat Rechargeable Silver Bullet VibeEmbrace Massaging Rabbit With Pleasure Ball In PurpleSatisfyer Pro 2 Air Pulse StimulatorPinkCherry Rose VibratorAnyone looking for a clitoral vibrator should consider starting with an expert-approved Womanizer, the brand famous for its gentle yet powerful suction technology. Right now, you can grab one of its iconic clitoral stimulators, massagers, or vibrators, on sale that will have you sent for the cold winter months ahead. Womanizer Pro40Womanizer The Foreplay CollectionSave on a variety of toys during Adam & Eve’s clearance and overstock sale, going on now. For tantalizing dual sensations, we’d recommend the top-rated rechargeable G-spot pleaser.Adam & Eve The Stud Vibrating DildoEve’s Clit Loving Thumper VibratorEve’s Thrusting Triple Joy RabbitWe-Vibe Chorus Couples MassagerNeed some inspiration when it comes to getting your self-love on? Try one of Fun Factory’s expert-curated bundles of toys, accessories, and lubes. With markdowns of as much as 30%, you may want to experiment with a couple of different sets for variety’s sake. Fun Kit Next-Level SexFun Kit Ride & VibeFun Kit Oh Yeah, Right ThereRelated:

16 Best Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2022 on Vibrators, Dildos, and More: LELO, Dame, Lovehoney

16 Best Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2022 on Vibrators, Dildos, and More: LELO, Dame, Lovehoney

Do you know what could turn you on brighter than a Christmas tree? A new sex toy, my friend. Throw in some of the best Black Friday sex toy deals in 2022 and game over. Year made. Because as amazing as it is to save on a treadmill or new sheets, it’s always wise to prioritize what goes on between those sheets. Whether you’re currently flying solo or living it up with your partner, there is a long winter ahead of us all, and you 100% deserve more pleasure in your life (that’s what these Black Friday sales are for).How to shop for a sex toy?If you’ve never owned a vibrator or bought a sex toy, that’s fine! We get it. It can be intimidating, especially when you don’t quite know what buttons you want to push (or which toys and products make a good gift). Looking for clitoral stimulation? Suction vibrators are the way to go. Want to focus on the G-spot? Look for an insertable toy instead. If you’re interested in all of the above, seek out a rabbit vibrator, which is a classic silhouette for a reason. Whatever your pleasure, we’ve got you covered with roundups of expert-recommended vibrators, strap-ons, as well as recommendations for the best sex furniture and accessories for the bedroom. These picks are sourced from sex experts and educators so you feel confident in your purchase. It’s been another long year, so it’s more than likely that you (or your partner) could use a gift that is purely meant to make you feel good, plain and simple. That’s self-care in our book. And if such wellness gifts are available at a lower price than usual, all the better.Below, we’ve compiled the best Black Friday sex toy deals in 2022 (plus all of the Cyber Week information you’ll need) from big-name brands and shops like Lelo, Lovehoney, Dame, and Fun Factory. A word to the wise: Place your orders early if you’re trying to snag the best deals before the chaos of Black Friday.Top Black Friday sex toy deals:The sex toy sales have just begun—with plenty more on the way. While scoping out the best deals that are available now, we looked at vibrators and sets that give you the most bang for your buck, without sacrificing quality or safety. Though some sex toys might seem pricey, they’re worth it for the high quality. Here are the five best Black Friday sex toy deals…so far.Lelo Tiani 2—originally $149, now $75We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator—originally $119, now $48Dame The Beginner’s Luck Bundle—originally $236, now $154Lelo Bruno—originally $179, now $107Fun Factory Oh Yeah, Right There Fun Kit—originally $280, now $210All the best sex toy deals to shop nowBeyond those, there are dozens more deals worth scooping up, especially if your sexy wishlist is long. So far, the big names in sex accessories have not disappointed, including Lelo, Lovehoney, MysteryVibe, and Fun Factory. We’re expecting more deals soon from Womanizer,  Maude, Babeland, and Good Vibrations, too, on everything from buzzy bullet vibrators to oral sex-imitating suction toys. Take a look at the best deals below—you might just find your new favorite sex toy.From oral sex simulators to wand vibrators to prostate massagers, Lelo’s wares not only boast award-winning technology, but look great on a nightstand. The luxury sex toy retailer’s entire range, including its bestsellers, is on sale for up to 50% off, with no code required. Try shopping for the versatile rabbit vibrator Ina Wave 2, or the Sona Cruise for intense clitoral stimulation.LeloLelo Sona CruiseLovehoney’s massive Black Friday sale is officially underway early, with markdowns of up to 60% on sex toys, lingerie, bondage wares, and other sexy essentials. We spotted the ever-popular cordless Hitachi Magic Wand on markdown, plus sex pillows like the Liberator Wedge, and top-rated couple’s vibrators from We-Vibe and Lovense. LovehoneyHitachi Magic Wand Extra Powerful Cordless VibratorLovehoneyWe-Vibe X Lovehoney Limited Edition Remote Control Couple’s VibratorLovehoneyLovense Lush 3 App-Controlled Rechargeable VibratorLovehoneyLiberator Microfiber Sex Position WedgeDame’s sex expert-beloved, beginner-friendly vibrators and sex accessories are ones to add to your cart ahead of this upcoming sale event. Though the brand hasn’t announced it’s Black Friday and Cyber Monday sex toy deals yet, last year it offered 20% off sitewide, so we’re hoping for more of the same this year. If you can’t wait (us either), some handy bundles are on sale ahead of the holidays, featuring bestselling vibrators like Pom (clitoral vibrator), Arc (G-spot vibrator), and Kip (lipstick vibrator), plus aloe-based lube. They’re highly rated and its small size makes them excellent discreet sex toy options.DameThe Beginner’s LuckMysteryVibe’s sex toys are backed by in-depth research and world-class engineering. On any other day, they’d be well worth paying full price, but from November 17 through the 30th, you can take up to 30% off their high-tech devices. For two already on-sale options, add the bendable Poco G-spot vibrator and the Crescendo 2, which can stimulate all six erogenous zones, to your cart ASAP.For wellness-minded folks, Foria’s intimacy accessories can’t be missed. While the brand doesn’t sell sex toys, they do sell lube, arousing bath salts, CBD suppositories, and more relaxation products for your solo or partnered sessions. From November 17 through the 28th, find sitewide deals up to 30% off. During Black Friday weekend (November 25-27), you’ll get a free mini Sex Oil with a purchase of $75 or more, and a free pack of Intimacy Melts with any purchase of $98+ on Cyber Monday.NordstromForia Intimacy Bath Salts with CBD & CacaoForiaForia Awaken + Lube BundleFrom November 23 through the 30th, Fun Factory’s durable, easy-to-use toys will be up to 60% off sitewide. Until then, you can still get in on the reduced-price fun. The brand’s Fun Kits are marked down for a limited time. The Oh Yeah, Right There set includes a vibrator with penises in mind, and one for the clitoris and other hot-spot (like nipples) stimulation. The Ride & Vibe set is great for beginner strap-on sex, including a poseable silicone dildo and a vibrating cock ring. Related:

How These Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence Are Healing Through New Relationships

How These Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence Are Healing Through New Relationships

My therapist taught me, though, that the only way you can learn to trust and love is to be in community with others. You need to learn how to ask for your needs to be met, and how to have healthy conflicts and resolve them. You can’t do that by yourself. You can’t just go home and meditate and all of a sudden become a really social person. That’s not how that works.” —Stephanie Foo, author of What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma“I try to cultivate relationships with people as committed to healing as I am.”“In healing from abuse, I’ve learned to take note of who is actively and enthusiastically committed to healthy communication, unlearning harmful beliefs, and interrogating their own thoughts and behaviors. We all make mistakes, but who’s willing to admit that and do better? I try to cultivate relationships with people as committed to healing as I am.That commitment may look different depending on a person’s own mental health struggles and journey, so patience is key with some people. But I don’t stop myself from distancing myself from others who are not actively trying to build safe, healthy, secure relationships. It can be a form of self-preservation to limit certain people’s access to you.” —J“I’ve learned that I can ask for help and not feel guilty.”“Once I started getting to know new people better, I felt confident in telling some of them more details of my abusive relationship. This was helpful because I could then explain that I may need support from them, which sometimes looked like a friend pointing out that I was being very self-protective.For a long time, I believed that it was normal not to trust people, to think everyone is out for your resources or that people will not help you when you are in need. Since surviving abuse, I’ve learned that I can ask for help and not feel guilty, and that I don’t just exist to benefit and entertain others—I exist to love and be loved.” —K“I know now that I deserve to have my needs met.”“One of the most important things for me to feel safe in my relationships is being honest and straightforward. Especially as a neurodivergent person, it’s really jarring when I get the impression someone isn’t saying what they mean. So recognizing emotions and responding honestly is something I now hold my loved ones accountable for, and I encourage them to do the same with me.Another thing I’ve learned through relationships is that if I’m upset during physical intimacy, I don’t have to keep going. I can stop. I used to have panic attacks mid-sex and hide it from my partner because I was embarrassed—they were often related to flashbacks from my abuse. Now I feel empowered with my partners to say, ‘Hey, I need a break,’ or, ‘I need to stop,’ and if that’s a problem then they don’t deserve my time or vulnerability. I know now that I deserve to have my needs met.” —E“In healthy relationships, there is two-way open communication.”“Boundary-setting has been absolutely vital for me. With my current partners, I try to set boundaries for things that might cause me harm, yes, but also proactively set expectations for how I might feel supported and cared for.

29 Amazon Prime Day Sex Toy Deals for October 2022: Lelo, Lovehoney, Womanizer, Satisfyer

29 Amazon Prime Day Sex Toy Deals for October 2022: Lelo, Lovehoney, Womanizer, Satisfyer

Folks, if you missed the Prime Day deals this summer, you’re in luck: Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale (AKA “Prime Day 2.0”) is here. At this major sale, you’ll find excellent deals on best-selling sex toys (not to mention home and kitchen, tech, fitness, beauty products, and more). Whether you could use a solo voyage, want to explore a new sensation with a partner, or could use relaxation in your life ASAP, we’ll answer your questions about the best Amazon Prime Day sex toy deals—and highlight standout discounts we’re seeing already on popular vibrators, cock rings, dildos, and more. We’re sourcing the best sex toy deals from now through the end of the sale (including from Amazon’s competitors), so be sure to check back for more.When Is the Amazon Prime Early Access Sale?Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale starts today, October 11 and end at midnight PT on October 12. It’s accessible for Prime members, but if that’s not you, it’s easy to sign up for a free 30-day Prime trial. We recommend shopping this sale especially if you’re someone who loves a markdown but doesn’t want to deal with waking up early for Black Friday.What Are the Best-Selling Sex Toys on Amazon Prime Day?There are already a range of sex-toy brands available for sale during Prime Day. Typically, this includes Womanizer, Lelo, We-Vibe, Satisfyer, and Luna. To do your own deals comparisons on a product, use CamelCamelCamel, a free Amazon price-tracker tool.What Competitors Have Amazon Prime Day Sex-Toy Sales?As can be expected, Amazon has big price drops on best-selling sex toys from big-name brands like Womanizer, Satisfyer, and We-Vibe. Additionally, you’ll also find major markdowns and limited-time sales on all types of vibrators (clitoral vibrators, bullet vibrators, rabbit vibrators, G-spot vibrators, wand massagers) and other types of sex toys (like butt plugs, strokers, and strap-ons), and sex accessories from competitor brands Lovehoney, Babeland, Mysteryvibe, Womanizer, and Jimmyjane.Right now, Lelo has Prime Day competitor deals, with savings up to 50% off its entire range—an excellent time to swipe up a Lelo Sila, Tiani, or Sona Cruise.What Are the Best Prime Day Sex-Toy Deals?Below, we’ve rounded up the best Prime Day sex toy deals live now. We’ll be updating this page with all the best sex-toy deals—from Amazon and from other competing retailers. Prime Day sex-toy deals come and go in a flash, so be sure to hit “check out” if you really want something and find it. Read on for expert-recommended, on-sale sex toys that will take you to new heights at a fraction of the price.We will continue to refresh this page (and many other Prime Day pages) with new deals, so be sure to check back throughout the next two days.

3 Things to Do When You Have Bad Sex With a New Partner

3 Things to Do When You Have Bad Sex With a New Partner

Apologies to Bridgerton, but first-time sex isn’t always the mind-blowing, corset-busting stuff of historical romance novels. In real life, hooking up with a new partner—even one you’re super into—can be awkward, uncomfortable, or otherwise… not good. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it can’t get so much better.I’m not talking about the sex that’s bad in that they didn’t respect your boundaries or otherwise made you feel unsafe, of course. (No second chances in that situation.) And maybe the sexual sparks just aren’t there—in which case you can trust your instincts and don’t need us to tell you what to do. But it’s also possible that you just need to work out some, ahem, kinks.To help you figure out if your unsatisfying experience was merely a stumbling block on the road to a much more pleasurable connection, we asked Chamin Ajjan, LCSW, a Brooklyn-based cognitive behavioral therapist and certified sex therapist, for her best advice on what to do if sex with a new partner left a lot to be desired.Try to get out of your head.When you’re excited about getting naked with someone for the first time, it’s normal to fantasize about how it’ll go down. The problem is, setting your expectations too high can also set you up for a possible letdown, says Chamin. If your first hook-up was, uh, anticlimactic, she recommends asking yourself, Was I in the moment, or was I focused on the experience that I built up in my mind?“If you’re comparing this sexual experience with the one you imagined, or with others you’ve had with past sexual partners, you’re missing out on what’s actually happening in the here and now,” says Chamin. Of course, maybe what was happening right in front of you really wasn’t so hot, but if you’re into your new partner and willing to give it another go, staying present can help you decide if there’s more sexual chemistry between you two than you initially thought.Chamin’s best advice for tuning into the moment during sex: Focus on your senses by paying attention to what you’re hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. “This mindful approach to sex can increase your pleasure by making it a wonderfully sensory experience where you’re more in sync with your partner,” she says. Basically, you’re getting out of your head and into your body.Get clearer about what you both want in bed.“Bad sex is often just a case of bad communication,” says Chamin. “Speaking up seems simple enough, but we often worry about hurting our partner’s feelings and shy away from advocating for our sexual preferences and desires.” However, avoiding the conversation after a lackluster hook-up ends up being a disservice to everyone and minimizes your chances for real pleasure, she adds.Communication with a sexual partner can be verbal or nonverbal, and you don’t need to be harsh to get your point across, according to Chamin. Instead of telling them what you didn’t like (“It turned me all the way off when you nibbled on my ear”), try sharing what you did or do enjoy (“It was so hot when you kissed me here”). “Being explicit about your turn-ons can be a turn-on itself,” says Chamin. “You can also try gently moving their hand or body to where you’d like it to be and show them how you’d like to be touched, or let them know what you’re enjoying with a sexy sound or outright telling them ‘this feels so good.’”

The 20 Best Prime Day Sex Toy Deals to Shop Right Now

The 20 Best Prime Day Sex Toy Deals to Shop Right Now

Folks, if you missed the Prime Day deals this summer, you’re in luck: Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale (AKA “Prime Day 2.0”) is only a week away. At this major sale, you’ll find excellent deals on best-selling sex toys (not to mention home and kitchen, tech, fitness, beauty products, and more). Whether you could use a solo voyage, want to explore a new sensation with a partner, or could use relaxation in your life ASAP, we’ll answer your questions about the best Amazon Prime Day sex toy deals—and highlight standout discounts we’re seeing already on popular vibrators, cock rings, dildos, and more. We’re sourcing the best sex toy deals from now through the end of the sale (including from Amazon’s competitors), so be sure to check back for more.When is the Amazon Prime Early Access Sale?Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale will start on October 11 and end at midnight PT, on October 12. It’s accessible for Prime members, but if that’s not you, it’s easy to sign up for a free 30-day Prime trial. We recommend shopping this sale especially if you’re someone who loves a markdown but doesn’t want to deal with waking up early for Black Friday.What are the best-selling sex toys on Amazon Prime Day?There are already a range of sex toy brands available for sale during Prime Day. Typically, this includes Womanizer, Lelo, We-Vibe, Satisfyer, and Luna. To do your own deals comparisons on a product, use CamelCamelCamel, a free Amazon price tracker tool. What competitors have Amazon Prime Day sex toy sales?As can be expected, Amazon has big price drops on best-selling sex toys from big-name brands like Womanizer, Satisfyer, and We-Vibe. Additionally, you’ll also find major markdowns and limited-time sales on all types of vibrators (clitoral vibrators, bullet vibrators, rabbit vibrators, G-spot vibrators, wand massagers) and other types of sex toys (like butt plugs, strokers, and strap-ons), and sex accessories from competitor brands Lovehoney, Babeland, Mysteryvibe, Womanizer, and Jimmyjane. Right now, Lelo has a fall sale with savings up to 40% off its entire range—an excellent time to swipe up a Lelo Sila, Tiani, or Sona Cruise.What are the best Prime Day sex toy deals?Below, we’ve rounded up the best early Amazon Prime Day sex toy deals live now. We’ll be updating this page with all the best sex toy deals—from Amazon and from other competing retailers. Prime Day sex toy deals come and go in a flash, so be sure to hit check out if you really want something and find it. Read on for expert-recommended, on-sale sex toys that will take you to new heights at a fraction of the price.We will continue to refresh this page (and many other Prime Day pages) with new deals, so be sure to check back throughout the day.

The 23 Waterproof Sex Toys for Incredible Shower Sex

The 23 Waterproof Sex Toys for Incredible Shower Sex

Fun fact: A lot—and we mean a lot—of sex toys are waterproof. They’re 100% submersible and able to get soaked without short-circuiting. The best waterproof sex toys are able to withstand moisture while providing ample pleasure—and there are oh-so-many of them. Whether you’re looking for a multi-faceted vibrator, a clitoral stimulator, cock ring, anal beads, a finger vibe, a dildo, or pretty much any other sex toy imaginable, you can find one that’s waterproof.What is a waterproof sex toy?“A waterproof sex toy is a toy that can be submerged in water during use,” says sex therapist Shamyra Howard, LCSW. Importantly, however, not all sex toys are waterproof; some are only water-resistant (with uncovered charging holes), which means, according to G Stone, founder of Straight But Not Narrow Ladies, that “the toy can get wet, but it should not be submerged or in constant contact with water.” Definitely check whether your sex toy is waterproof or water-resistant before you use it.The waterproofness of a sex toy isn’t a type so much as a feature. “Pretty much any type of toy can be made waterproof in the way its motor or battery compartment is sealed (if it has one,” says Carol Queen from Good Vibrations, “especially if it’s made of a material that’s waterproof by nature like silicone or glass (though not all silicone vibrators are waterproof).”What are the advantages of waterproof sex toys?Perhaps the biggest advantage? “You can play in the water without wrecking your toy!” says Queen. If you’re someone who likes getting hot and heavy in the shower or pool (or wants to, at any rate), a waterproof sex toy can take that experience to new heights. They’re also extremely versatile. Sure, you can add them to your shower sex (or solo session), but you can just as easily use them on land too (in case you’re a mermaid, you know). Plus, these sex toys are easy to clean. “You can give them a quick, careless rinse before using them, then soap them up and wash them thoroughly once you’re done,” says Rae Chen, sex and beauty editor of TheNotice.net. “When you choose a waterproof toy, there’s just so much less stress involved—you know your toy is always clean without having to worry about it shorting out.”What should you look for when shopping for waterproof sex toys?Queen advises asking yourself these questions before shopping for waterproof sex toys: “Does waterproofing succeed in letting you use your toy the way (and where) you want to?” If yes (enthusiastically yes!), consider whether you want the toy to be fully submersible or just splash-proof; used externally, for penetration, or both; alone for masturbation or with someone else. Are you looking for a hands-free toy that does most of the work for you or a toy that offers you control? You’ll want to seek out trusted brands, read the reviews, or let us do that work for you (below). And be sure to use the right lube. Many waterproof toys are clad in body-safe silicone, and finding the right lube for underwater play can be a process. “If you find that water-based lube doesn’t give you the endurance you want, try an oil-based lube made with coconut oil, which is slick under water and okay to use with silicone (but not latex),” says Queen.What are the best waterproof sex toys?Ready to draw a romantic, candle-lit bath for you plus or minus one? If you know for sure your toy drawer doesn’t house a waterproof toy, or are looking for a new one, below, we’ve laid out sex expert- and educator-recommended options for the best waterproof sex toys from retailers like Amazon, Lelo, Lovehoney, Fun Factory, Womanizer, Dame, and more. Just make sure to limit any underwater adventures involving insertion to places that have clean H2O (and stay away from rivers, lakes, and the ocean, as they may contain bacteria).

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