Alisa Hrustic

What Do We Do With All This Anger?

What Do We Do With All This Anger?

If you feel emotionally pummeled by any of this, you aren’t alone. Survey after survey shows that we’re sad, and worried, and stressed—and furious. That’s why, when we started discussing anger at SELF a few months ago, I felt some solace. Our editors opened up to each other about the last time they were consumed by anger and shared the feelings that accompanied it: anxiety, grief, guilt, fear, helplessness, depression. Sound familiar? We kept coming back to a couple of key questions: What can our anger tell us? And how can we turn it into something meaningful? Those are the questions we’ll be trying to answer all week. Our editorial package, All the Rage, dives deep into this often-taboo emotion, in all its complexity and messiness. (To be clear, this is an exploration of moral anger. We’re not publishing this package to justify the behavior of hot-headed folks who have taken to screaming at service workers just trying to do their jobs or the politicians who spew self-serving propaganda after narrowly losing an election.)For this collection of 10 articles, our writers and editors talked to 20+ experts about the science of anger. In these articules, you’ll find actionable, empathetic advice about how to turn your anger into action, no matter the circumstances. Here are three key themes to expect:Acknowledging your angerIn a forthcoming article about how therapists cope during fits of frustration, Jessi Gold, MD, says it best: “What I need is to just be angry, call it anger, and not judge myself for it.” When I let my anger get the best of me, I almost always feel ashamed once I start to cool down, but the experts SELF spoke with have reassuring things to say here: It’s okay to just feel it if you need to—ideally while you mentally or physically remove yourself from the rage-inducing situation and before you take it out on others.When you take the time to reflect on your anger, you have the opportunity to ask yourself what, exactly, is at the heart of it. Are you deeply sad about something? Do you feel overwhelmed? Is mounting stress catching up with you? Or are you just genuinely mad? Recognizing your anger for what it is can be a valuable step in figuring out what you need to move forward.Using madness as motivationWhatever’s triggering your anger, you can harness that explosive energy into something good, either for yourself or your community—ideally both. As psychologist Ryan Martin, PhD, author of Why We Get Mad: How to Use Your Anger for Positive Change, says in a forthcoming article about how anger can affect your health, “Anger alerts us to a potential injustice, and it energizes us to confront that injustice.” This could mean seeking therapy because you’re having a hard time keeping your anger under control, or this could look like engaging in activism so you can get involved with a cause you’re fiercely passionate about. If issues like climate change, gun violence, racial injustice, or lack of access to affordable, equitable health care infuriate you, for example, chances are there are other people who feel the same way and who are taking action. “Being in community is a way to navigate rage,” psychologist Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, PhD, previously told SELF. “Rage is not just an individual experience; it is a communal, collective experience.” Taking care of yourselfLike all intense emotions, anger’s effects can go beyond your mind. Your physical body will feel the stress too, so it’s imperative to be gentle with yourself. When you can’t seem to get out of your head, do something—anything—that feels soothing. If you have a second to simply pay attention to your breath, do a mental body scan or go for a slow walk in a calming environment, you may be surprised to realize that you’re super hungry, exhausted from lack of sleep, or restless from spending too many hours at your desk.You can’t help yourself or be there for your community if you don’t practice self-care. That’s something my anxiety has taught me too. After my last panic attack, the rage eventually retreated (and, not to worry, I took it as my sign to find a new therapist). Now, when those uncomfortable feelings swell to the surface, I try to pay close attention to the anger in particular, because I know it’s trying to tell me something. Anger is a flashing signal that helps us survive—but only if we listen to it.You can read more content from All the Rage here. SELF will be publishing new articles about anger all week.

A Moody Playlist for Your Next Fall Road Trip

A Moody Playlist for Your Next Fall Road Trip

Friends, fall is here and I’m just so giddy about it. There’s something endlessly special about this time of year: My cute, cozy jackets are finally in rotation and my morning coffee hits different when I feel that bit of chill (and nostalgia) in the air. It’s hard to feel down when you know the childish delights of Halloween are around the corner.For me, fall is also synonymous with a bit of adventure. Living in New York City has its perks, but proximity to nature is not one of them—and that definitely weighs on my soul sometimes. I grew up in the Midwest, where sweeping plains and expansive horizons were my norms growing up. I just loved being outdoors, especially when the changing leaves started to show off. So, as soon as mid-summer hits, I start scheming my foliage-filled getaways for the season ahead. Next weekend, my husband and I are heading up to the Adirondack Mountains, where we’ll hike, enjoy our charming cabin, and hit up a brewery or two. We also have a leaf-peeping road trip planned for the last week of October: We’ll start in Pennsylvania’s Poconos, head to central New York’s Finger Lakes region, and wrap things up in eastern New York’s Catskills.And you better believe I’ll have a damn good playlist going the entire time. In high school and through college, my best friend and I burned each other mixed CDs every season, but we eventually graduated to digital playlists. I filed a bunch of them into a “Fall Tunes” folder, which lovingly houses old playlists with names like “August Chill,” “Back to Skool,” “Autumn Out East,” and so on. (We were so cool, right?) Listening to them again this week triggered so many emotions, because they spanned so many autumns in my life.To curate the playlist below, I picked out some greatest hits from that folder, along with a few newer finds; it offers everything from Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon” (for those supremely witchy vibes) to Japanese Breakfast’s “Posing for Cars” (for a glorious guitar solo that will drown you in all the feels). And, yes, I added Blue Oyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” because no fall playlist would be complete without a slightly spooky, 70s rock classic. I hope you enjoy these songs on a moody autumn afternoon—and take in everything October has to offer while you can.ContentThis content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.Full Playlist:“Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac“Mess is Mine” by Vance Joy“New Slang” by The Shins“Call Me in the Afternoon” by Half Moon Run“If I Ever Feel Better” by Phoenix“Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty“Can’t Fight” by Lianne La Havas“Hallucinogenics” by Matt Maeson feat. Lana Del Rey“Darling” by Real Estate“For Emma” by Bon Iver“September” by Ayoni“Ophelia” by The Lumineers“(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” by Blue Öyster Cult“Full Moon” by The Black Ghosts“One Man Wrecking Machine” by Guster“When I’m Small” by Phantogram“White Winter Hymnal” by Fleet Foxes“Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star“Rosyln” by Bon Iver and St. Vincent“Posing for Cars” by Japanese BreakfastRelated:

Selma Blair Says Joining ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Is a ‘Powerful’ Moment for Her

Selma Blair Says Joining ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Is a ‘Powerful’ Moment for Her

Since her multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis in 2018, Selma Blair has adapted to many challenges with fierce determination and infectious enthusiasm, so it’s no surprise she’s “beyond thrilled” to join the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars” (DWTS).In a recent group interview with Good Morning America (GMA), the 50-year-old actor and author said she’s “grabbing at every joy we have in life,” and is excited about “getting out and moving,” even if her muscles get a bit worked up in the process. “The truth is when I am trying new things I get a lot of spasticity, dystonia,” she said, “and I am okay.”MS is a complex neurological condition that impacts the central nervous system. Experts believe the disease is autoimmune in nature because the immune system mistakenly attacks healthy parts of the body and damages the protective insulation, known as myelin, that forms around nerves. Essentially, this makes it really tough for the brain to communicate with the rest of the body, which can trigger a slew of wide-ranging and potentially disabling symptoms—from muscle weakness and memory problems to chronic pain and even partial paralysis. Spasticity and dystonia, for example, are both disorders that can impact muscle movements.But Blair and her DWTS partner, pro dancer Sasha Farber, see all of this as an opportunity to get a bit imaginative with their routines. “Walking is much harder for me than when I can get into the groove of settling into dance and fluidity,” Blair told Entertainment Tonight (ET). “This is an amazing lesson to use my emotions and body together to unite a little more with the support of Sasha and music.”And Farber finds his partner equally exciting to work with: He told ET that joining forces with Blair “isn’t about a dance competition,” because he genuinely just wants to see her “improve and to grow.” That’s why the duo took things really slow when their practice rounds first started; Farber checked in with Blair before each rehearsal to make sure she wasn’t in pain, and they liked to perform breathing exercises together. “I wasn’t aware of what I could do,” she said, “if I could safely push myself.”Blair has always been candid about the reality of living with MS, including how important mobility aids and adaptive devices are when it comes to figuring out everyday life and being a mom to her 11-year-old son, Arthur.So, a little anxiety is also to be expected. Blair told GMA that she gets nervous “if I lose my partner’s touch,” while dancing, since she’s used to having her dog, Scout, or her cane for support at home—but that’s not going to stop her from enjoying herself on stage, she said: “This is so powerful to me.”Related:

What Could Be Causing Your Weird Stomach Problems?

What Could Be Causing Your Weird Stomach Problems?

Digestive troubles, for many people, top the list of symptoms that are straight-up miserable to live with. After all, who wants to feel constantly gassy or bloated while running to the bathroom left and right? Not only can these symptoms feel uncomfortable (or even downright painful), they can seriously impact how you feel about yourself and the way you live your daily life. If you’re not sure what’s going on, don’t fret. Oftentimes, there is a simple explanation for gastrointestinal (GI) issues. But if they’re starting to feel constant, it’s worth exploring whether something more complicated could be lingering under the surface. Take this quiz to find out what might be causing your stomach problems, and when you should consider seeing a doctor about them—because you deserve to feel good in your body.

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